You might be a gardener if jokes

You Might Be A Gardener If

I love me some blue collar comedy. Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck” jokes are classic. So I thought they make a good premise for highlighting the odd and sometimes obsessive behavior of avid gardeners. So here are a few!

 

You might be a gardener if
You track in more dirt and mud than the dog

 

You might be a gardener if
The tools in the back of your car look like a serial killer’s murder kit (shovel, saw, twine, etc.)

 

You might be a gardener if
You have ever snuck plants into the house, hoping your spouse wouldn’t notice (another one?!)

 

You might be a gardener if
You talk to plants (You’re a pretty little thing aren’t you)

 

You might be a gardener if
You also name your plants (Hey Fred, looking a little thirsty there)

 

You might be a gardener if
Your neighbors are used to seeing you in your pajamas and wellingtons doing impromptu garden maintenance

 

You might be a gardener if
You dance a little jig every time you see a new sprout or bud

 

You might be a gardener if
You have a favorite playlist, and so do your plants

 

You might be a gardener if
You’ve ever corrected an innocent bystander for misnaming a plant or insect

 

You might be a gardener if
You’ve ever judged your neighbor’s yard (Don’t they know how to trim their tree away from the sidewalk? I’m trying to walk here!).

 

You might be a gardener if
You were tempted to just trim the damn tree for them

 

You might be a gardener if
You trimmed the damn tree for them, and used it to propagate new trees

 

Have any of your own to contribute? Toss them in the comments section!
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